Better Regulation My Arse Tax

Poor William Sargent, what has he got himself in to? He’s signed up as a government stooge and instead has been made to look a right chump.

When elected to power, New Labour was full of promises about its business friendly credentials. And, as each year brings yet more crippling bureaucratic burdens, the government’s sole response is to promise better regulation, which is of course at complete variance to reality.

Poor William is the hapless Executive Chair of the Better Regulation Executive and has got himself embroiled in a “cross–government Administrative Burdens Reduction measurement exercise”. Classic Sir Humphrey-speak.

In a model piece of government media manipulation, Poor William managed to get an article published on the BBC’s website inviting small business owners to share their grief and concerns with him about the burden of government regulation.

Now, before we get overexcited, let’s actually have a look at what this initiative is trying to achieve.

You would be forgiven for believing this is an exercise, or at least a pretend exercise, in cutting regulations. Oh, no! That would be far too useful. No, this is an exercise, so they claim, in cutting the length of time it takes you to fill in forms proving you have complied with the regulations!

So insincere are the attempts to reduce regulation, or in government speak ‘make it better’, this time round they aren’t even offering empty promises to reduce the regulatory burden.

All we are being promised is easier forms to fill in.

So, why has Poor William been made to look such a chump (apart from being a damn fool to get suckered in by this government in the first place)? Well, follow the links to the Better Regulation website and there you have your opportunity to tell them just which regulations are causing all the bother (as if they didn’t know already). But believe it or not what you have to do if you wish to complain about all the forms you have to fill in is, well, er … fill in a form!

So, the government’s solution to cutting bureaucracy is to hire bureaucrats to create more bureaucracy to look into the bureaucracy they might reduce but won’t because that’s all they know and what they live off.

Can the officials who came up with such utter tripe really be so stupid and out of touch? Do they truly think this is the way forward? Or, more likely, is this just another barricade put in the way of actually getting anything done?

You see, this isn’t just a simple straightforward form. As you would expect from any government form, there are plenty of completely unnecessary questions for the task in hand – questions that allow them to mine data about you and your business, no doubt to use against you later, but completely irrelevant to the task in hand.

Then you can’t just explain the problem. First you have to name the regulation, which will obviously have some completely impenetrable EU directive number assigned to it. After that they expect you to describe the problem in detail, measure how long it takes to comply and what the costs are.

In all, there are 23 questions or boxes to fill in when a couple of lines would do perfectly well.

In a feeble plea for credibility, Poor William whines, “I'm still a businessman; but now I also serve within government, working closely with the better regulation team at the Cabinet Office, to deliver benefits for businesses, charities and voluntary organisations.

“In this, we have the personal backing of the Prime Minister and the Chancellor.”

Yeah, right.

If Poor William was any sort of businessman he’d be busy running his business. He’d know any half-decent, self-respecting businessman will be far too busy complying with the regulations that already exist, trying to keep his company afloat, than to indulge him and his army of petty officials with their ridiculous little form that we all know is going to be completely ignored anyway.

So Poor William, what sort of businessman allows his name to be put to such a ridiculous scheme? No sort of businessman if you ask me.

November 2005