Since the poor woman is getting so much negative publicity
from the break up of her marriage, we would like to take this moment to pay
tribute to Katie Price, multi-millionaire
“glamour model”, de facto porn star,
bestselling “author”, and possibly the greatest marketing strategist in human
After all, only marketing skills of the highest order could
establish a woman with no discernible talent as a “celebrity”, a virtual
illiterate as a “writer”, and the tone deaf possessor of a truly horrible voice
as a “singer”.
In doing so, she has built up a personal fortune estimated
to be in excess of thirty million pounds.
With no advantages but her undoubted energy, a gift for
self-publicity, and a
couple of other personal assets, which she built up throughout her early
career, young Katie rebranded herself as “Jordan” and made her mark as what
British newspapers describe, euphemistically, as a model.
However, models, especially of Katie’s type, have a
proverbially short shelf life, and it was as she approached the usual sell-by
date, in her mid twenties, that Katie’s business brain really got into gear.
Her masterstroke was to rebrand herself a second time, as an
operating division of “Katie and Peter”, following merger – sorry, marriage –
with Peter Andre,
an ineffective but inoffensive Australian has-been.
The merger was revealed as more of a takeover by Katie, as
every datum of the young couple’s domestic life was sold to “celebrity
magazines” and “reality television”.
However, the franchise, having been thoroughly exploited,
appears to have run its course. Since Peter has been asset stripped to the
point where he has no residual value, demerger is now on the cards, enabling
Katie to move on to her third rebranding.
Peter can at least comfort himself with the knowledge that
he was not a bad husband – he is simply a case study of the Product Life Cycle.